Pastor Owolabi Ademola Reflects on 19 Years of Marriage, Faith and Commitment

For Pastor Owolabi Ademola, building a lasting marriage has required much more than affection.
After 19 years with his wife, he says faith, communication, patience, mutual respect and a willingness to remain committed during difficult seasons have played important roles in keeping their relationship strong.
Speaking in an interview about his family life, Ademola reflected on how a friendship that began in a university lecture room gradually developed into marriage and a family with three children.
They met as university students
Ademola said he met his wife, Mrs Owolabi B. B., née Agbedu, while they were both students in their third year at university.
At the beginning, there was no immediate expectation that they would eventually marry.
They started simply as acquaintances.
As they spent more time together, however, the relationship gradually became more serious.
Ademola said his future wife was delighted when he eventually proposed.
Her father had already died by that time, but her mother welcomed the marriage proposal and gave her approval.
The couple have now been married for 19 years and have three children — two daughters and a son.
Building a life together
Asked about one of the happiest moments of their marriage, Ademola pointed to something many couples spend years working towards: moving into their own home.
For him, the achievement represented more than acquiring property.
He described it as an important milestone in their life together and something the family viewed as evidence of progress and God's faithfulness.
Major milestones like buying or building a home can become powerful memories in a marriage because they often represent years of shared planning, sacrifice and persistence.
But Ademola's reflections suggest that the ordinary habits developed between such milestones may matter even more.
Faith sits at the centre of their marriage
Ademola repeatedly returned to faith when explaining how the couple have sustained their marriage.
He said prayer and seeking God's direction have been important when making major family decisions.
For him, marriage is not simply a partnership between two individuals.
It also has a spiritual foundation.
That belief shapes the advice he gives younger couples.
He encourages them to place God at the centre of their relationship while also developing practical habits such as open communication, mutual respect and forgiveness.
His view is that faith should not remove the need for those qualities but should instead reinforce them.
Communication matters when life becomes difficult
One of the strongest themes in Ademola's advice is communication.
Couples will not always agree.
Finances, careers, parenting, extended family and personal expectations can all create tension inside a home.
For Ademola, difficult periods should not automatically become reasons to abandon the relationship.
He believes couples need to communicate openly and remain willing to understand each other's point of view.
Respect is equally important.
Marriage becomes more difficult when disagreements turn into hostility or when one partner stops considering the feelings and dignity of the other.
That is why Ademola places communication and respect alongside prayer when discussing lasting relationships.
Forgiveness is part of staying together
Ademola also encourages couples to learn how to forgive.
Living closely with another person for many years inevitably means mistakes will be made.
Words may be spoken in anger.
Expectations may not always be met.
Decisions may sometimes disappoint one partner.
For him, a successful marriage requires couples to deal with those moments without allowing every disagreement to become a permanent wound.
That does not mean ignoring serious problems or accepting harmful behaviour.
Rather, his advice centres on not allowing ordinary disagreements and personal imperfections to gradually destroy a relationship that both people still want to preserve.
He believes marriage requires two people acting as a team
Another principle Ademola emphasised was unity.
He said couples should learn to operate as one rather than seeing themselves as two people constantly pursuing separate interests.
That idea is particularly relevant when making decisions about money, children, careers or major family plans.
A couple may still have individual goals and personalities, but successful partnerships often require finding ways to make important decisions together.
Ademola identified patience, humility, honesty, love, understanding and perseverance as qualities he believes couples should develop.
None of those qualities eliminates problems.
They influence how couples respond when problems arrive.
His concerns about rising marriage breakdowns
Ademola also reflected on the growing public conversation around divorce and relationship breakdowns in Nigeria.
He believes couples entering marriage need a clearer understanding that long-term relationships require sacrifice and commitment from both partners.
His position is strongly influenced by his Christian faith.
He argues that couples who share that belief should allow their religious convictions to influence how they treat one another and how they approach disagreements.
At the same time, much of the practical advice he gives — communication, honesty, patience and respect — applies more broadly to relationships regardless of religious background.
Marriage is not sustained by one person
One important part of Ademola’s advice is the idea that both partners must participate.
A relationship cannot be maintained indefinitely through the effort of only one spouse.
Both people need to communicate.
Both need to show respect.
Both need to make compromises.
And both have responsibilities when difficulties arise.
That makes marriage less about finding a perfect partner and more about how two imperfect people choose to build a life together.
Nineteen years later
Ademola's story is not one of dramatic romance or instant certainty.
He and his wife met as students and initially knew each other only as acquaintances.
The relationship developed gradually.
Marriage followed.
Then came children, major family decisions and eventually the milestone of owning their home.
Nineteen years later, his explanation for what kept the relationship going is similarly straightforward.
Faith matters.
So does communication.
Respect matters.
So does forgiveness.
And commitment becomes particularly important when marriage is no longer easy.
For younger couples hoping to build relationships that last, Ademola's message is that strong marriages are not maintained by feelings alone.
They are built repeatedly through the decisions two people make about how they treat each other, especially when life becomes difficult.